maybe my expectations are too high,

maybe it's because the dark histories,

maybe i am too afraid,

maybe i'm protecting myself from getting hurt,

maybe i don't want the same histories to be repeated again,
maybe i'm still holding on the past,

or maybe..

it's just me, the complicated me.

that's why i tend to push people away and not depending on others, because i am too afraid if i take this wall down again, i'll getting hurt all over again.

to you, yes you know who are you.

New Year.

2011 is about to leave, and 2012 is coming.

i listened to the Red FM just now, at the library. one of the deejay said,
" hey, instead of talking about your resolutions, why don't you write and list them?"
and i thought, "oh okay, good idea"
let's write some resolutions for the upcoming year, shall we?

 first ; i really want to improve myself, i want to be closer to Allah. it sounds cliche right? yes but it is true, i want to be closer to Him. since i left school i can feel i'm slightly far from Him. astagrifullahalazim, i know it sounds bad, but it's not wrong to improve ourselves, right?

second ; i want to be a good daughter. i want to make my parents proud of me. the last time i made them proud is PMR, i guess? yep, maybe. that was the last time i made them happy, truly happy. i want to study hard and grad with a great pointer and end up with a good job.

third ; about studies. i want to be hardworking as much i had be before. i struggled so much when i'm in lower form, because i want to enter MRSM TGB, and i managed to. but when i get what i want, i stop struggling. i don't know what happened to me, but since i entered TGB, i lost my track. so in 2012, i hope i can find my track back.

fourth ; i want to be a wise spender. since i have my own money (university's allowance), i don't know how to cut my budget, i feel like my money flows like waterfall -_-

fifth ; i hope in 2012 i can be stronger, i hope i can be a wise thinker. i want to be a woman who thinks about pros and cons before making any decision. most woman makes decision based on their emotions, including me. most of all, i want to be more patient than before. i don't want to be weak, because i believe if we are strong, people will respect us, kan?

sixth ; grab myself a samsung galaxy S2. hehe i know i just said about cutting budget and be a wise spender, but since it is in my wishlist since september, it is an exception hew hew :P

seventh ; i want to be positive, i don't want to be paranoid. i'll try to break the walls surround me which preventing me to trust people.

eighth ; stop depending on others, because i believed in the end of the day, people will let us down. i want to appreciate all people in my life. be grateful, give more, expect less, and live happily. most of all, create memories :)

ninth ; have a healthy diet.

tenth ; STOP STALKING!

i have written mine, how about yours? :)

Final exams.

hello! it is time for a new post i guess? yeah :)

here i am, in the study week. exam starts on 2nd January and finishes on 18th January. 

PRAY FOR ME!

btw, here some scene from How I Met Your Mother. did you get what i mean? yes, no? hewhew okay bye! 

 

does all boys think like this?